Fast Breakin’

To ensure that your college hoopin one track mind stays up to date, we will gladly provide you with pleasing golden nuggets of wisdom that you can, eh, change the world with. We’ll see.

**Washington Huskies bulldog Jon Brockman eats boards for breakfast.
“In what could be just one of many such designations this year, ESPN college basketball analyst Jay Bilas has named Jon Brockman as the best rebounder in the country heading into the season.”

**Robert Vaden might score 30ppg this season if he finishes with “ease”.
“And as long as the Blazers have Robert Vaden on the floor, they will be in the mix. Vaden averaged an incredible 21.1 points per game and added 3.5 rebounds and 2.6 assists. The 6-5 wing is a great shooter and hit 4.3 three-point shots per game at a 40 percent clip. And Vaden does more than just shoot the ball; he will get to the basket effectively and finish with ease.”

**New Caltech head coach Oliver “Doc” Eslinger on the heck of a time he’s having right now.
“From a psychological standpoint, a newly tapped energy is injected into an athletics team when a new staff takes over. People — students, faculty, staff, administration — are pumped. Questions arise everyday as university community members want to know about the upcoming season, the philosophy of the team, the outlook for the future. It’s quite an experience — especially considering I’m walking around a campus that is home to an Einstein getaway and 16 Nobel Prize Winners in science and medicine!”

**All for naught.
“Miles lasted only 70 days at the school before getting expelled for alleged sexual abuse of a female student.”

**Don’t expect the Wolverines to be good again, ever.
“Only twice have the Wolverines and Spartans appeared in consecutive tournaments together, in 1985-86 and 1994-95. Their other shared appearances were in 1990, 1992 (which Michigan vacated after its payola scandal) and 1998 (a year after the payola scandal broke but before sanctions struck, U-M’s last tournament appearance, and the start of MSU’s current streak of 11 consecutive appearances).”

**Tommy Turtleneck will have Harvard underachieving in no time.
“Ivy: Cornell probably has this on lock-down already. But to pick someone to move up? We’ll go with Harvard, since Tommy Amaker has been cleared in the league-mandated investigation into his recruiting practices. The times, they are a-changin’ in the Ivy.”

**Huge ACC hoops preview
“Here’s how the powers-that-be make their cookie cutter ACC predictions:

-Pick unc or duke to win the conference (this year unc).

-Pick the one you didn’t pick to win to finish 2nd.

-Hype up one other team as a “serious contender” to win the conference, but don’t actually pick them ahead of unc or duke.  [Note: this year, the buzz seems to be around miami but wake is my darkhorse… whoops, I’m violating my own rule]

-Draw the other teams out of a hat and place them 4th through 12th.

-Tell everyone how smart you are, which isn’t tough to claim since duke or unc has won the regular season title 10 of the last 12 years and has won the ACC Tournament 11 of the last 12 years.

-Lather, rinse, repeat formula next year.”

From the VP debate on Thursday…

Hat tip: KSK

Don’t forget to vote in the new poll folks!