Financial Terms Defined, Redneck Style

Because some of us may be moving down to the trailer park if this economy doesn’t improve soon, let’s learn the lingo – shall we?

• Principal: What you take a stand on, like the Second Amendment!
• Interest: Huntin’, fishin’, women.
• Compound Interest: Bow hunting.
• Profit: Jeremiah and them fellas.
• Net: What you take a-fishin’.
• Borrow: Used for totin’, like a wheelborrow.
• No load fund: Savin’ up for shotgun shells.
• Invest: Where you keep your shells when you got ‘em.
• Revenue: Agents of the Fed’al Guv’mint
• Finance: Your girl before you get hitched.
• Bonds: Barry and James
• Bonus: You shoot a squirrel, you get dinner and a pelt for a bonus!
• Portfolio: On your bass boat, the opposite of starboard folio.
• Hedge fund: Savin’ up for some nice juniper bushes to line the driveway.
• Stock market: cattle yard
• Foreclosure: When you close the store an hour early to go a-fishin’.
• Bank: Where your asset when you’re a-fishin’!
• Asset: Your pickup and your doublewide are where your asset when you’re not a-fishin’!

Not sure if these were actually penned by Jeff Foxworthy, but this bit of redneck humor is brought to you by Say Anything.

Image Credit: ImNotQuiteJack, Flickr