Five predictions sure to be wrong

With the Major League Baseball season winding down and pennant chases heating up, here are five predictions that are sure to be wrong.

1. The Tampa Bay Rays will sign former San Francisco Giants outfielder Barry Bonds to a prorated deal of the MLB minimum salary. However, Bonds will play only designated hitter for the Rays, blast 10 home runs in September and lead Tampa Bay to the American League pennant and World Series bid.

2. Carl Pavano will not only return to the New York Yankees starting rotation, but he will become the ace. Pavano will have no more injury doubts the rest of this season and guide the Yankees into the playoffs as the AL Wild Card after posting a perfect 3-0 record in September.

3. Los Angeles Dodgers manager Joe Torre negotiates on the hair situation with outfielder Manny Ramirez. Only, Ramirez doesn’t cut off his dreads. Instead, Torre tries to grow his hair out, which doesn’t work, so he has to resort to wearing a wig for the rest of the season.

4. Arizona Diamondbacks outfielder Adam Dunn will not hit any homeruns with his new team, but will pile up the strikeouts by the car load to the point that his strikeout total is higher than this batting average. Not to worry though, because Dunn’s on base percentage will most likely triple in the process.

5. After Bud Selig and MLB institute instant replay just in time for the playoffs, everyone is happy that all calls were exactly correct. Instead of throwing a parade for the World Champion Milwaukee Brewers, the city decides to have a celebration for Selig.

Photo: Newscom