From Rant to Bash

That guy on the left is me.

I have finally hit the gaming wall where I can’t find a single damn thing that inspires me to buy it. Hell, I can’t even find something that inspires me to rent it.

Actually, I take that back.

I downloaded the demo of Folklore over the weekend and after ten minutes of trudging through the game, I really wanted to gouge my eyes out with a dull spoon. The story had promise but promise of a rockin’ story just can’t overcome shit game play.

I just searched the crap game on Metacritic.com and I’m damn surprised to find the game has an average score of 75 out of 100. WTF?

The reviews range from warm and fuzzy:

A great deal of the magnificence in Folklore comes from the little details: the serenity within a field of bristling flowers and cascading petals, or the charm of a stairway that rings with laughter when your character’s foot falls upon it – these are just a few of the many moments that may bring an awed smile to your face. – IGN

“Awed smile” definitely isn’t what I would call it. Grimace of disgust would probably be a more apt description.

To a review that I tend to agree with just a bit more wholeheartedly:

Folklore is one of 2007’s biggest disappointments. A PlayStation 3 game that at first seemed promising, but explodes in a fiery wreck, thanks to annoying dialogue, bizarre comic book style cut scenes and drab game play. – GameDaily

I know some of you are cussing me right now because I didn’t play the entire game. But I ask you, if you’re eating dinner out somewhere and the food tastes like shit, do you continue to eat the putrid crap so that you can more fully describe the fetid pile.

Yeah…didn’t think so.

Apparently the post that started as a whine about me not having games to play like Lunar, Oblivion, Kingdom Hearts, and Diablo II, this whole thing has devolved into a rant about a shit game.

I’m going to go try to find a happy place. I’ll be back later.