Geico Caveman Elected To Advertising Walk Of Fame
Hirsute Ad Icon Gives Moving Speech Thanking His Ancestor Australopithecus
There wasn’t a dry eye in the house at today’s induction into the advertising Walk of Fame as a long-time crowd favorite, the Geico Caveman, gave a moving speech acknowledging the contributions of his ancestor, Australopithecus.
Looking around at skyscrapers on Madison Avenue, the Geico Caveman noted, “None of this would have been possible without all the millions of years of effort from those who came before me. This whole process has been an evolution for me and I want to especially thank Australopithecus for paving the way, no pun intended, for my induction onto the Walk of Fame.”
At that point, the Geico Caveman choked up and asked for a moment to compose himself. After a round of applause from gathered ad execs, the caveman continued.
“This is just one more crack in the granite ceiling for cavemen. When my father made the first billboard by drawing on a cave wall, I’m sure he could never have imagined the day when one of us would become the missing spokes-link for a major car insurance company.”
“I’d also like to thank Karl Benz for inventing the automobile,” the caveman added.
The induction of the Geico Caveman was the highlight of a ceremony in New York City that kicked off the first day of Advertising Week — an event that was surprisingly not well publicized.
Geico’s pitchman was joined by the Serta Sheep whose spokesman, #29, noted that “at one point in history, this guy standing next to me would have slaughtered and eaten me. The fact that we’re now on the same platform accepting this prestigious award just shows you how much progress we’ve both made.”
Putting his arm around his fellow inductee, the Caveman cracked, “Anybody know where I could pick up some mint jelly?”
In other advertising news, Treasury officials unveiled their new commercial to help urge quick passage of the bailout. The commercial features a barely coherent Amy Winehouse looking at the U.S. economy and slurring, “Damn. Even I’m not that fucked up.”
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“Once you’ve had Neanderthal, you’ll never make another booty call…”
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