George Stephanopoulos To Host Hillary Town Meeting

ABC News Sees No Conflict of Interest, Says ‘This Week’ Host Will Get Massage Before Program So He Doesn’t Throw Out His Shoulder Lobbing Softball Questions to Senator Clinton

George Stephanopoulos, host of the ABC-News (?) show This Week with George Stephanopoulos, will host a town hall meeting with Hillary Clinton in the hours leading up to the Indiana and North Carolina presidential primaries.

Sources say Stephanopoulos will prepare for the debate by totaling up his W-2s from his time with Bill Clinton and working to get the perfect arc for softball questions to be tossed to Ms. Clinton.

ABC News also promised to cut multiple times to shots of Chelsea Clinton bathed in soft, amber light and will look to backlight Senator Clinton in an effort to give the illusion of a halo.

Stephanopoulos maintains he will be “tough, but fair” in his questioning of Clinton and, in a concession to critics, has promised not to lick her face on camera.

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Stephanopoulos (shown here actual size) promises to be dogged in his questioning of Senator Clinton

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