GM Schedules Monday Press Conference

– Company Says It Will Need Concessions from Local Electrician’s Union In Order to Make Sure Press Gathering Is Profitable; Federal Government Pressures Podium Providers Not To Insist on Cash Deposit –

General Motors has announced that it will be holding a press conference on Monday, presumably to announce its impending bankruptcy.

Plans hit a snag, however, when the company said it might not be able to meet its financial commitments to pay for the press briefing if it didn’t receive concessions from the local electrical worker’s union.

The company is also insisting the company that will be supplying the podium for the press conference accept a 12% equity stake in the company in lieu of the $125 rental payment for the faux-wood podium to be used to announce that the world’s leading car company has found itself unable to make money making cars.

“If we can’t make money as the industry leader in our core business, we certainly can’t afford the cost of a plywood podium,” said CEO Fritz Henderson who then went on to blame the recent recession for GM’s inability to meet podium payment costs.

President Obama insisted he stood with teleprompter companies, seating companies and companies that made television cameras but “would not stand with anyone who actually expected to get paid full price for providing a product or service.”

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GM’s top salesman, Biff Stroganoff, will help negotiate company’s path through bankruptcy

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