Going the Distance

No relationship is ever going to be perfect but being together makes up for a lot. When one of you has to put miles in between you, there has to be something else to fall back on. Long distance relationships involve much more effort. Being with someone means that you rely on your physical chemistry to speak sometimes; when that proximity is removed the dynamic has to change.

Image: istockphoto

I was seeing a girl for a few months when her job ended and she had to move. We were at a crossroads and I didn’t want the relationship to end. We talked about things and decided to give long distance a try. At first, it didn’t feel different. We talked and texted often but then, we always had. Weekends weren’t a problem because our schedules had never really lined up exactly. It took about a month before the strain showed.

I began to see that she didn’t know how I felt about her unless I said the words out loud, not one of my strong suits. I missed little things about her, like her brush in my bathroom or a forgotten pack of gum on my coffee table. We decided to do “web dates” in place of our old ones. We’d get on the video chat and both eat Chinese food while watching Seinfield reruns. It made us be able to laugh like we were together. She sent me little gifts in the mail, even if it was just a funny card. The time apart made me realize that our relationship wasn’t just based on the sex (though we improvised that too) and affection, it was based on the compatibility that we had. Our words and actions had to be planned out but everything took on new meaning. Small gestures held big importance.

Being with someone who is far away isn’t easy but it is totally do-able. You never know, you may end up learning more about them than you knew before.