Grease Up With Guitar Hero and KFC

KFC and Activision will be teaming up to bring you some deep-fried Guitar Hero contests.

Lucky participants with iron stomachs can win plasma televisions, game consoles and other objects that will let them sit still and encourage the growth of their chicken-fed ass.

Kotaku provides more information and helpful insight:

The two also plan to introduce cheat codes to the game that will unlock special features… please no playable Colonel. They also plan to… shudder…. feature KFC in the actual game with “innovative branded cameos.”

Writing this honestly made me want to run out and by a bucket of KFC, but then I remember the last time I did that and the night I spent praying over the porcelain alter. Damn my aging stomach and intestines.

I think I’d rather have a playable Colonel than play a KFC-branded guitar. Hey…actually, I’d pay some good money to watch the Colonel rock out! And rip off his shirt and slip into some David Lee Roth pants oh God where am I and why do I smell burnt toast.

As for KFC, I pretty much find it indigestible, so you kids are going to have to have your Satan-music chicken fun without me.