Great Blog Off Tip #19: Ask for What You Really Want

There’s a difference between being polite and being passive-aggressive. Do you know which side of the line you’re on?

If you want something, ask for it. Don’t imply it. Don’t expect other people to know you want it. Be specific. And don’t for one second feel guilty about it.

I know a lot of passive-aggressive people, and I’ve been know to wear that hat myself, if I’m being honest, but I don’t recomment it. There’s one person in particular who does P-A stuff to me all the time and it makes me batty. She makes vague suggestions that in no way resemble a request, and then gets sulky when people don’t read her mind. I personally think she’s thinks she’s trying to be nice by not being too demanding, but being unclear and then getting mad at people for not getting what you want is NOT nice.

Case in point: We’re supposed to meet at 11. She says something like, "Do you think we should meet at 10:30 instead?" I say, "Nah, I think 11 is good." "Okay," she says. And then we meet at 11 and she’s glaring at me. Dude, if you want to meet at 10:30, say, "I’d rather meet at 10:30 than 11." How hard is that?

Self-examination time: Are you more direct or more passive-aggressive, and how so? Leave a comment.

- Kristen

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