Hank Steinbrenner Applies for Dual Citizenship

In the grand history of rich people having friendly competitions about their rich things, this Hank Steinbrenner vs. John Henry rivalry is pretty tepid. They’re not ruining people’s lives for dollar bets. But still, John Henry has signed Hank Steinbrenner up for citizenship in the Red Sox Nation. Most people didn’t think that you could be part of the Evil Empire (which I’ll say again, is a fantastic marketing opportunity that the Yankees are missing out on) and the Red Sox Nation, but indeed, you can be part of as many team-state combination you choose. You can even make up your own titles. Indeed, check out what’s on my sporting passport.

I am a citizen of:

-the Evil Empire

-the New York Giants and Montenegro

-United Piston Emirates

- the People’s Republic of Michigan Wolverines

- Raptor Nation / Nation de Raptor

- the Federated States of the Big Ten

Additionally, I hold these titles:

- Ambassador to the Isle of Islanders

- Deputy Ambassador to the Principality of Grizzlies

- Special Diplomat to the Sultanate of the Arizona Cardinals

- Generalissimo of the Sonic Resistance (non-state actor)

Also, I have been granted these honors:

- High Priest of the Church of Jayhawk

- Raider Nation Medal of Honor

Long story short, I am also worshiped as a god in some regions of the Mountain West.