Hardee’s Tries to One-Up Burger King

That noise you hear? It’s me sighing. Hardee’s/ Carl’s Jr. are at it again. Not to be outdone by Burger King’s Super Seven Incher ad, Hardee’s has introduced their “Name Our Holes” campaign. No joke. The product? Cinnamon-Sugar Biscuit Holes.

What exactly are these “biscuit holes” anyway? Hardee’s press release describes them as deep-fried balls of biscuit dough, rolled in cinnamon-sugar and dipped in icing. And the company was stumped when it came to naming the creation. And that’s when the “fun” started, apparently.

Brad Haley, Hardee’s executive vice president of marketing was quoted as saying “They really are irresistible and it’s almost impossible to eat just one. But what to call them was a big challenge. One of my favorite options was ‘Biznuts,’ a cross between ‘biscuits’ and ‘donuts,’ since the closest thing to them are donut holes. But there were many other suggestions that were very funny. Unfortunately, I can’t repeat them here.”

Right. Their tag line goes even further, stating that they “sound so wrong, but taste so right.” Where do we even begin? What is it with these fast food companies recently? Do we really need ball and blow job jokes to sell food? Seriously?

Oh, but wait. It gets even better. Hardee’s made a promotional video (see below) about naming the product. And if you think ‘Biznuts’ is bad, just wait to hear what others came up with. And if that’s not enough, there’s a web site with a naming contest. Yes, Hardee’s wants you to name their balls.

We only wish we were kidding. The site is called Name Our Holes. No, really. It may sound like a bad porn site, but it’s for fast food, people.

I swear, if another fast food company tries to one-up this and starts talking about the female anatomy, I am so boycotting that fast food company for good. And people wonder why we’re an empire in decline. Sigh.

images: pitchengine