‘Here’s A Surprise For Ya … I Resign!’
– Sarah Palin To Step Down As Governor, Looks To Replace Billy Mays As Product Spokesperson –
In a stunning move, Sarah Palin today announced she was planning to resign the governorship of Alaska in a few weeks in order to concentrate her efforts on a second career as a product pitch person for such well-known products as Oxy-Clean and the ShamWow.
Either that or she’s going to run for President in 2012.
Palin made the announcement at press conference held in her Wasilla home in a surprise move sure to delight Democrats and Republicans alike.
Republicans are said to be overjoyed that the most exciting personality they have will be able to devote more time toward a Presidential bid and have a full four years to learn to string together coherent sentences.
Democrats are tickled pink that Palin will be a loose cannon criss-crossing the country and Tina Fey will remain on Saturday Night Live for the foreseeable future.
Palin has announced plans to travel the country by helicopter and take potshots at roving herds of animals and gatherings of more than six registered Democrats.
In a couple of related stories, Katie Couric’s contract has been extended and Hillary Clinton has announced plans to hang herself.
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“Gotcha! And I’m tellin’ ya, I’m gonna be surprisin’ ya on a more regular basis goin’ forward…”
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Image: Zuma Press
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