Hey, NFL Fan, the National Football League Doesn’t Give a Shit About You OR Your God

In the NFL’s never-ending quest to make sure it is as difficult as possible to actually enjoy an NFL game. (See: NFL Sunday Ticket available only on DirecTV.) The NFL has decided you’re not allowed to watch the Super Bowl on a large screen. Especially if you’re a church.

The NFL has shut down Indianapolis-area Fall Creek’s Baptist Church’s “Super Bowl Bash.”

Initially, the league objected to the church’s plan to charge a fee to attend and that the church used the license-protected words “Super Bowl” in its promotions.

Pastor John D. Newland said he told the NFL his church would not charge anyone and that it would drop the use of the forbidden words.

But the NFL objected to the church’s plans to use a projector to show the game, saying the law limits it to one TV no bigger than 55 inches.

The church will likely abandon its plans to host a Super Bowl party.

The reasoning behind this, of course, is Neilsen ratings.

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said the league’s long-standing policy is to ban “mass out-of-home viewing” of the Super Bowl. An exception is made for sports bars and other businesses that show televised sports as a part of their everyday operations.

“We have contracts with our (TV) networks to provide free over-the-air television for people at home,” Aiello said. “The network economics are based on television ratings and at-home viewing. Out-of-home viewing is not measured by Nielsen.

So, really, they’re essentially outlawing Super Bowl parties. Fantastic work NFL. Is there really a concern that there’s not going to be enough people watching the Super Bowl? Super Bowl commercials have astronomical prices, ones that are not associated with the Nielsen ratings, because the Super Bowl is an event. You know, an event where large groups of people gather together and watch television. Well, used to gather together.

Luckily, Herm Edwards is in no way in violation of this.