Hulk Hogan’s Mattress Buddy Tells Her Tale

So readers, riddle us this: If you were the “other woman” in an affair with a past-his-prime celebrity and the National Enquirer besmirched your once-good name, would you:

(a) Go on 60 Minutes and tell Mike Wallace your side of the story;

(b) Go on The View and make Barbara Walters squirm when you tell your side of the story; or

(c) Write a letter to celebrity gossip site Perez Hilton and tell your side of the story?

Christiane Plante, former um, bodyslamming partner of Hulk Hogan, chose option C. While she ‘fesses up to the affair, she insists she’s sorry—after the fact, like everyone else who gets caught—and that she won’t “milk this 15 minutes of fame for all it’s worth.” (”Which isn’t much,” we feel compelled to add).

She also notes “you won’t even find any pictures of me online,” which—unwittingly or not—sounds like an open invitation to the paparazzi if we ever saw one.

Caption: Is the Hulk praying for forgiveness or for Christiane Plante to just go away?

The former mistress, as it were, is also a (very definitely) former friend of the Hulk’s fame-hungry daughter, Brooke Hogan.  

Not sure about that one, Ms. Plante. It really would have been so much more entertaining to see Barbara Walters stutter and blush if you gave up some juicy details on her show.