I Suck at Fat Princess
November 15, 2009 by Amy Tucker
Filed under Gaming
I’m pretty sure that I’ve written about Fat Princess before but it’s Sunday and I’m just too damn lazy to go looking for the link. And anyway, I’m pretty sure I wrote something about the controversy surrounding Fat Princess and that really doesn’t have anything to do with what I’m writing today.
The point is that I suck at Fat Princes.
I downloaded the demo from the Playstation Network, very excited to finally try my hand at the game.
I selected the “play with yourself” option since I am new to this whole cake filled wonderment and didn’t want to embarrass myself. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that multiplayer is disabled if you’re just playing the demo. Like I said, I didn’t select that option so I don’t know for sure.
Boys are notorious for not reading the instructions and I guess I’m a guy since I didn’t read how to play the game – I just drove right in.
After one minute of watching the different characters run around my screen – each with an obvious mission that I was oblivious of – I was regretting my choice.
I ran around the screen for a good five minutes trying to figure out what my goal was and how to pick up stuff [what's with the controls?!] and since the game is called Fat Princess, I decided to go find said princess. And find her I did but she was a rather skinny princess and didn’t quite live up to the game’s title…until I spied a lonely piece of cake right outside my castle’s walls.
As I dashed through the gates, I was met by this blue bastard who attacked me and sent me back to where I started. What. The. Hell.
After some quick internet research, I realized that the princess in my castle wasn’t actually my princess but the other team’s and that I needed to keep their princess pleasantly plump so that she would be good and heavy and they would have a harder time stealing her back.
So I fed her. And I fed her. And I fed her.
And each time I came back with more cake, she was less fat than when I left her and every time I ventured out for more cake, I got killed.
My error was that Fat Princess is a team game.
Everyone has a role to play and you can’t do it all on your own. I don’t play well with others so team games aren’t my strong suit.
What’s funny is that I must be a glutton for punishment since I plan on buying Fat Princess.
There was just something about the way that the game is designed and the deceptively simple premise that endears it to me and makes me want to feed that damn princess.
Find IGN’s review of Fat Princess below.
Image|Sony
The offline/single player experience in this game is terrible. It’s 90% useless. That said in the demo I think you get 1 map to play, and it is in the online mode that Fat Princess shines. It can be a lot of fun especially if you can get 3-4 people with mics. Unless you’re playing an entire clan a group of about 5 can be like a little military unit and make huge swings in the game. I’ve had it since week 1 and it’s pretty much all I play. Now that may be because I don’t have a lot of time to play and I’m lazy to put a disc in my system but still I’m having a blast with the game and CAG maintains it’s Fat Princess night so I’m happy. Even when you buy the game you may play thru Legend of the Fat Princess once to complete it and it will be very frustrating because the AI can’t be given instructions. Might as well just skip it I don’t think there are any trophies for it so just hop in and hope ya meet a good group. They added a new map with the last patch which is fun and there has been hints that new classes might pop up so there’s plenty of life in the game yet.