If You Think You Can’t Find a Job, Maybe It’s Time to Adjust Your Expectations
August 26, 2008 by Kristen King
Filed under Business
(www.bizchicksrule.com) — I’m on a tough-love kick this week here at Biz Chicks Rule, because I am sick and tired of hearing people whine and complain about the problems they created for themselves. YES, times are tough. YES, the economy is poor. And YES, people who have done nothing wrong are still suffering. BUT!
Regardless of whether you made your own bed or were purely in the wrong place at the wrong time, you still have to deal with it, and believe it or not, you have choices. Whether you choose to take advantage of the options or choose to do nothing but whine about how hard things are, you are still making a choice.
The thing that’s really bugging me right now, aside from "cry-baby" first-time homebuyers, is people who are unemployed, racking up huge amounts of debt, and doing the "Woe is me!" thing. There’s a big bottom line here, whether you want to see it or not: THERE ARE LOTS OF JOBS OUT THERE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO WORK. I know individuals who got laid off weeks and even months ago and who are still unemployed and freaked out about it. Being freaked I can understand. I can get behind you on that one. But still being unemployed — and whining about it — is something I simply cannot support.
If you have bills to pay and a family to feed, it is your responsibility to take whatever job is available even if it’s not your dream job because you’re an adult and that is how things work. Whether you have a graduate degree or a high school diploma is immaterial because you need to fulfill your obligations. Go work at Lowe’s. Register with Randstad or a similar company as a temp. Drive a school bus for your local school district. Apply to be a manager at your local Taco Bell. Start cleaning houses. These are all dignified and completely acceptable choices. There is nothing wrong with putting on a uniform and a nametag instead of a three-piece suit or a pencil skirt and pantyhose.
The biggest cause of unemployment among people who have marketable skills is pride, not a poor economy. As I said earlier, there are jobs out there for people who are willing to work. If you choose not to take a job because you think you’re "better than that," and because of that choice you can’t pay for groceries or health insurance or your car or whatever else, I have no sympathy for you. Not even a little bit.
You are not a victim unless you choose to be. You have the power to change your circumstances. Take advantage of it. Embrace a new experience. Take pride in doing good work and earning a living, regardless of what or where that good work actually is. Take responsibility for your life. You can do it. And you need to.
(image: SXC.hu)
Contents © Copyright 2008 Kristen King
Tags: womens business blog, women in business, women and business, women, woman, business, unemployed, laid off, jobless, cant find a job, cant pay my bills, cant afford groceries, unemployment, bad economy, recession, biz chicks rule, kristen king
LOVE the tough love, Kristen! The only whiner in this house is the 4 year old and he gets a time out.
As for adult whiners…part of the problem seems to reside in this whole sense of entitlement…like this happy life, great paying job, etc. should just be handed over on a silver platter. No need to pay your dues or go through hardships.
Okay I have to say this article is right on time. I just read in one of my spiritual books about pride and how it steals your peace. I mean literally just read this 5 min. ago. And it talked about people setting realistic expectations and the delicate balance between helping yourself while also being obedient and waiting on God.
So yes, pride does paralyze people which is so sad. I think we’ve all been there in some area of our lives but still that is no excuse to continue on this path to self-pity and arrogance.
I have been laid off twice before and both times were scary. The first time I was clearly caught off guard due to a massive lay off and felt horrible for those with families. I was single and not a Mom then but still I picked myself up and took it as an opportunity to try something new. The second time I knew it was coming and since it was the holiday season, took the stance that this was a “gift from God” so that I could devote time to my family.
Both times I had the feeling that God will work it out and in the mean time, do something not necessarily ideal but with a new skill set. I tended to try and use that time to learn something new (buff up my resume). But what I did not do was sit around and wait for some miracle to happen. I prayed, had faith, and sure had the typical emotions but still you can’t give up.
Guess what…each time right away my ideal job came finding me. I did not even apply for either one of them, I was recommended. So you see, when you help yourself God looks out for you and works it all out in the end. BUT you have to have a humble heart.
Kristen,
Loving your posts today!!!
The only thing I find really sad–and I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it happen–is that some service jobs pay *less* than people get on unemployment. WTF?
I remember a few years ago, a woman in her 20s – 30s applied at Barnes & Noble. She’d been laid off from a big-wig marketing job in NYC. She *wanted* to work, really did, instead of collect unemployment, but she was making more on unemployment.
I’m not saying you’re wrong–you are 100 percent right. People, WHATEVER you have to do to pay the bills–do it!! If you’re fortunate enough to have unemployment for a time, that’s great, but be sure you have a way to survive when those checks stop!
I have always worked more than one job at a time… and, honestly, never had problems finding jobs. Am I exceptionally talented, gifted or smart? Um… NO. Not at all. LOL
I’ve done everything from radio promotions (the schlub kind… where I just hung out and looked cute while listeners spun a wheel to win prizes), to clothing retail to writing for a local paper at $20 an article while working in a book store AND working as editorial assistant at a magazine. I even tried waitressing at a catering hall and hated it so went back to selling books. :)
My maternity leave in 2 months will be the first time since college that I will not be “working”… and even then, I’ll probably take an assignment or two. So, anyway, all I can say is “here, here!” Keep up the rants, I love ‘em!
I agree 1000%. I have a friend who has an advanced business degree from an elite school, was the cfo of a 2 billion dollar company for many years, got laid off at a company he was most recently with, and has been unemployed for 7 months looking for an “acceptable” position. Meanwhile, he is struggling to even pay his bills and support his family. The argument is that a good job will come along and he its smarter to wait for this higher paying job than take a sub-par job now. Meanwhile, his kid goes to an elite university and can’t go back to school because he can’t pay tuition. Completely ridiculous right?
Thank you for mentioning that staffing agencies like Randstad are a good way to start searching for a new job or career. I work for Randstad’s PR agency, but also on a personal level believe that networking is a huge way that those who are unemployed can make good contacts. Use the time off to keep in contact with those in your industry and ask for their advice. Everyone likes to be flattered!
Great post Kristen and right on time. There is no excuse for not working as there are TOO many opportunities available for folks to make a living!
Couldn’t agree more. Pride, responsiblity, entitlement, ” acceptable “, ego, ideal to add a couple more.
I have had great experiences with temp/employment services in my work experience. Sometimes those employers rarely hired without the service as they got plenty of applicants via that route. Nor did they run classifieds either. May need to register with more than one service. May require having a couple of part-time jobs. Some pt’s can come with benefits. Some agencies can provide temporary benefits, as well.
I’ve had to think far outside my normal perceptions toward places where, despite the economy, that the “show must go on “, I had to go back in time and replay some areas of previous experience and I’ve had to network my butt off, at times. I’ve yet to date had to run the unemployment route, but it’s an option, just the last option.
When I was single, I found someone to share expenses with. My Step-dad, at one point, had to find a ” commuter job ” and he lived in that city most of the week. For him, a few connections and appropriate elements came together and he stopped being ” Corporate ” and ended up with his own business after that.
Sometimes it is easier to look at situations like these and think of what advice you’d give to someone else. Child, friend, sibling and then take your own advice.
“There are lots of jobs out there for people who are WILLING TO WORK.” Amen to that!
I am the president of a small company and have been looking for a good candidate for one of our VP positions all summer. In one of the applications I received most recently, the candidate didn’t even bother to revise her cover letter to explain to us why she was qualified for and interested in this job. Instead, the cover letter stated that she was looking for a position at our local community college!
It goes back to your point about being willing to work. If this candidate can’t even be bothered to customize the cover letter/resume when applying, I have to assume that she couldn’t be bothered to do the work if we hired her.
Y’all, I couldn’t agree more!
@Betsy, I cannot believe the audacity of that candidate. Wow.
@Ayn Elise, you are so right. It’s amazing what perspective we have when dealing with other people’s problems, and then when it comes to our own issues we’re useless.
@Bridget, that’s so right: NO EXCUSE.
@Leila, I think many people forget how valuable networking can be to their job search. And then they do moronic things like Betsy’s candidate, and they forget that networking can also KILL their chances of getting a good job, because you KNOW we’re not the only ones she told that story to!
@John, ridiculous indeed. Your friend needs to suck it up.
@Dawn, glad the rants are working for you. ;) You raise a valid point, but I think that people for whom pride is an issue generally COULD get a job that pays more than unemployment and choose not to. I can’t say that’s true in every case, though, and I’m really glad you weighed in.
@Quiana, you said something really brilliant that I think more people need to hear: you didn’t just sit around waiting for a miracle — you did your part. God helps those who help themselves, right?
@Tina, it’s entitlement all the way. I think we need to ban it.
Sure, responding as best you can to circumstances outside your control is good advice, and wallowing about in existential agony while your bills go unpaid won’t get you anywhere. But it’s more than pride that prevents the professional who was accustomed to making enough to support a family get a job cleaning houses or managing a Taco Bell. Cleaning houses doesn’t pay well enough to afford a studio apartment and a used car, much less a mortgage, groceries for a family, whatever.
For any recently laid-off engineer out there who needs to support a family, taking whatever job comes first would be irresponsible. On a level, it’s a luxury to be in a place in life that allows for the Taco Bell job while you look for something better, and it’s a luxury most adults can’t afford.
Anyway, your advice sucks.
Let me say, I used to feel the same way, however, recently, I lost my job due to something stupid that I did. Yes, it was my own fault and I will accept full responsibility for my actions. BUT… I have always felt that I would do anything to pay my bills… and I will.. My savings is now depleted and everything I have is now in the red. I have tried every avenue of employment I can think of in my area. Most employers now want you to apply online. Something I am not used to. I’m used to the face to face approach. THEN.. I am in competition with the younger crowd. I have registered with a few temp agencies, I’ve hit the classifieds on almost every possible website I can think of… Monster, Hotjobs, Craigslist, Indeed.com, USAJobs.com, aol, and the list can go on forever. I have filed for unemployment, but the circumstances of why I was terminated may disqualify me. SO… where does one turn to? If no one wants you… no one wants you… Now I see it from the other side of the fence… and regret the things I’ve said and the feelings I’ve had for those who could not find employment.. because now I am one of those people.