In Sports: Five Things That Need to Stop in 2009

With the end of 2008, it’s given me a chance to reflect back on the year and realize there are some things that have really bugged me about the sports world. Turns out I have five main gripes, and here they are:

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5. Stop Using the Words “Kabbalah” and “Sports” in the Same Sentence

Yes, I’m talking to YOU, Madonna! It’s not that Kabbalah (or water) is a bad thing, it’s just that I don’t need to hear about both of them when I’m reading about sports. I don’t need to know how many bottles of Kabbalah water A-Rod has handed to you, or drank, or touched, or looked at. Sports should be SPORTS, darn it! Gatorade is the only sports drink I want to hear about in 2009.

And while we’re at it….. just admit that you two are a couple, for pete’s sake! We know already! We know…

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4. Stop Blaming the Girlfriends For the Downfall of Football Players

Sure, it’s easy to do. I’ve been known to (occasionally) make fun of a girlfriend or two myself. Ahem…

But seriously, it’s not Giselle’s fault that Tom Brady was out most of the year with a knee injury, or Kim Kardashian’s fault that Reggie Bush got injured, or Jessica Simpson’s fault that Tony Romo chokes in the playoffs (and falls down in the shower.)

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3. Stop Using the Open-Mouthed Photo of Michael Phelps

Any open mouthed photo!

I like Michael Phelps. I really do. He’s a tremendous athlete and seems like a nice enough guy… but whenever I see a picture like this:

or this:

or especially this:

It just makes me wanna smack him.

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2. Stop Letting Jessica Simpson Ramble on About Tony Romo

Hey, we’re happy that Jessica hearts Tony, but the interviews about how great Tony is and how he saved her and how she was nothing before him and how she likes to decorate a Christmas tree just for him…..

…enough already! I have this to say: Tony, just marry her already so we don’t have to listen to anymore!

And the fact that she actually wrote a love song to Tony called “You’re My Sunday” should be illegal. Don’t agree? Take a listen:

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1. Stop Comparing Aaron Rodgers to Brett Favre

I’m sure it’s hard to follow a legend (and like him or hate him, Brett Favre IS a legend), but the butt kissing that reporters have been doing the entire year with Aaron Rodgers is just ridiculous. I watched every single game and was extremely dismayed every time I’d see Aaron Rodgers scramble while a sports caster would say something like, “Aaron Rogers has to compete against Brett Favre every pass” or “Aaron Rodgers is actually a better quarterback than Brett Favre” or “Aaron Rodgers is just an amazing young man and has a great deal of pressure on him.”

Here’s the thing. Brett Favre is gone and he got slightly screwed by the Packers on his way out. But when he was gone, he was GONE. In other words, we don’t need to hear about him every single play. During one game Coach McCarthy actually gave stats on Rodgers’ hand size in comparison to Favre’s! In one of the final games of the year, I counted Favre’s named mentioned 16 different times.

Aaron Rodgers is a good first-year quarterback. He may be a great quarterback one day. But with one (losing) year in, it’s too early to say. Perhaps when Rodgers has been in the league 17 years we can make comparisons. For 2009, however, I just want him to shut up and play and the announcers to call the game in front of them, rather than the ghosts they see on the field.