In These Dark Times of Layoffs
The economy is taking its toll on all industries, all countries. It is like a ripple effect where all points are disturbed sooner or later, if not shook up. It’s my turn now. Again. I completed college and joined a job only a year and a half ago and in this short period, I have survived a couple of layoffs, including this one, but never felt fortunate.
When a person you daily see has to leave, is forced to leave, there is a looming sense of guilt and gloom over the place. Have I survived only because of he or she? Could I have done something? Could anybody have done something? Is there no other way? As long as you’re conscious about this loss, however impersonal it may have been, you deny yourself a right to smile even at a right moment and feel obliged to remain morose at least for a few days.
I don’t yet understand how the directly affected ones feel like and have no words to express my compassion. What about, “I’m very sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?” I have seen too much TV and have the mindset that nothing I say is going to change anything. But I would like to say something, like to know that there is something that can be said.
I’m probably too young to accept layoffs as a part of life, but I realize that it is going to happen again. Next time, I want to be prepared.
I recently had this happen to two of my colleagues. Because I valued them and their contribution very much, I made a point of looking each of them up and telling them how sorry I was to see them go, and how much I enjoyed working with them. With each of them I was also able to share battle stories about particular projects where they came through for me, which made the words seem less hollow. (Not that the sentiment was hollow, but it sure felt nice to be able to add weight to what I said to them.)
I figure that the worst thing about being let go is the realization that all the hard work you did, and all your experience that you learned the hard way, has no value to the faceless corporate overlords, so the least I could do is tell my colleagues that as far as I was concerned, this wasn’t true.
Since starting work in the early 80s, I’ve never known anything but mergers and downsizing. I’ve always watched as colleagues were sent out the door, and like you, wondered how it was that the fickle finger of fate didn’t end up pointing at me. Up to now I’ve been lucky to have missed being downsized out of a job, but my sister has had it happen to her twice. She says that no matter what you tell yourself about how nice it will be to take time away from the corporate grind, or how the severance package is pretty decent, it is still a blow to the ego. So, that’s another reason why I take the time to talk to colleagues who are downsized. It is hard enough for them to deal with the reality of the situation, without also feeling though the rest of their friends at work are shunning them.
You don’t have to say much more than “gee, I’m awfully sorry to see you go, and I am really going to miss you.” You don’t have to offer any suggestions about what they might do next (unless you have some concrete ideas or leads), nor do you have to make them feel all better. You simply cannot control how they feel about their plight, so don’t even try to find some magic words for that.
Now, mind you, I’m not a saint. There have been one or two colleagues that I was relieved to see being shown the door. I haven’t yet been able bring myself to go up to someone who was nothing but a pain in the a** and be able to sincerely talk about how I would miss them!
Glad you dropped by this post, grapeshot. You do seem to have a lot of experience with these things. Thank you for sharing a few nuggets.
The first time I survived layoffs, I was in bed in a hospital. That made it all the more tougher. The second time, I faced those who had to leave, spent a lot of time with them, tried to help them through my contacts, gave them advice when they sought it, and I still can’t help feeling that I should’ve done something better.