Iowa Police Crack Crime, Um… Ring
Two Men Charged With Stealing 82-Year Old Church Bell
Two Iowa men with bats in their belfries were rung up today on charges of third degree theft. The men stole an 82-year-old bronze bell from a church and sold it to a scrap yard in Minnesota after wringing as much money as they could from the junk dealer.
After sitting next to the bell for the entire drive back to Iowa, when asked if they understood their Miranda rights, both men replied, “What?! ”
An attorney for the two men maintained that the arrest was a case of mistaken identity and said the two men in custody were just “dead ringers for the real suspects.”
The attorney was said to be mulling an insanity defense and told reporters, “This kind of behavior is just not normal. It’s really outside the bell curve…”
The theft was first noticed when the entire of congregation of Methtown, Iowa overslept and missed church services due to the lack of clanging on Sunday morning.
As one parishioner noted, “You usually have to wait until Father Flynn’s sermon to get that kind of quality snooze time.”
The two suspects were being held without bell in the Cherokee County Jail and, despite the near certainty of a conviction, were expected to ah,… peal.
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“It’s an 82-year-old bell. Of course, it has a Clapper…”
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