KFC Launches Promotion To Fill Potholes

‘We’ve Clogged America’s Arteries, Now We’re Going to Fix America’s Roads!’

In a move custom-tailored to the current recession, Kentucky Fried Chicken has announced a promotion where they will send Colonel Sanders to fix potholes around the country.

Can you think of a better symbol of today’s tough times? An 85-year-old colonel has to come out of retirement (most likely because of losses in his 401-K) to take a manual labor job fixing roads the government can’t afford to patch.

Congratulations to all in Washington, D.C. on a job well done.

On the upside, the PR move is expected to help cull the homeless population as hard-luck crazies dash into traffic in an attempt to gorge themselves on pot hole filler made from a patented mix of mashed potatoes, gravy and the Colonel’s secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices.

What could possibly go wrong with a promotion that links the tasty, tender, trans-fat goodness of KFC chicken in the consumer’s mind with the loud cursing you do whenever you hit a canyon-sized pothole?

“Goddammit! My front end just went out of alignment! I could sure go for an extra-crispy three-piece meal.

No, … wait. Maybe I’ll go for a KFC bowl so I can come back and fill this pothole to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else.”

The ability of advertisers to manipulate your mind is simply amazing.

Besides the ton of questionable publicity the promotion generates, KFC sees an added benefit in keep its chicken coops non-union.

A spokesman for the company remarked, “I’m not saying we want to discourage our chickens from organizing, but any attempts to unionize our food chain and the head hen could end up under a road someplace like Jimmy Hoffa.”

This is just gravy.

We’re sending a squawk out to Phil Gerbyshak at Slacker Manager for the story tip.