Let’s Have Good Memories: Losing Legend of Legaia

I have no idea why I picked up Legend of Legaia for the Playstation. I must have read a review by some paid-off game journalist because oh wow, what a terrible game. Back then, I made it a point to finish every damn game I bought. Legend of Legaia is the first time I said “You know what, screw this.”

First off, the main character’s name is Vaughn. If you drive North of Toronto, there’s a city called Vaughn and its motto is, “The City Above Toronto.” Obnoxious, but somehow clever. It makes me feel conflicted every time I read it and that confusion kind of spilled over to the game’s Vaughn. No fault of the game, I suppose. The awful battles though, those were strictly the fault of the game.

Unlike Valve, Legend of Legaia never wholly admits it ripped off Stephen King’s mist that turns people inside-out. The mist that covers Legaia’s world is thick and mysterious, and there are things inside it, daddy. Things. It’s up to three heroes, blah blah blah, trees.

Legend of Legaia really tries to introduce a tolerable battle system with combos and whatnot. Fighting regular enemies isn’t too bad, even if they have a raging case of pallet-swap, but the bosses are horrible. The fights drag on and on and each token Big Monster seems to have an attack that can hit your entire party for massive damage. I got so tired of each boss battle being a losing war that I just gave up. It’s not like the characters or story were worth the aggravation.

Legend of Legaia did have one great line: “What’s a pimp?”

So I lost my copy and rejoiced.