Little Help, Please

– Jail Officials Become Suspicious Of Inmates’ Sudden Interest In Tennis –

Prison officials at the Orleans Parish Prison in Louisiana have served a number of warrants on people who were using tennis balls to smuggle contraband drugs to inmates by lobbing the balls over the walls of the prison.

Guards became increasingly suspicious as inmates abandoned their traditional interest in basketball and weightlifting to suddenly start training as ball boys.

Prisoners explained they had donned sport shirts with a huge Polo logo on the back and were chasing tennis balls as rehabilitation and training for jobs at next year’s U.S. Open Tennis Championship.

The plot to smuggle drugs was discovered when the relative of one of the prisoner’s left a topspin lob short and it landed in a guard tower.

Inmate Sam “Slingblade” Powers was reportedly furious at his live-in girlfriend for leaving her shot short.

“If I’ve told that b*tch once, I’ve told her a thousand times … you have to brush up the back of the ball and follow-through,” groused Slingblade.

Prison officials have since cracked down tennis playing against the wall of the prison and say the problem of contraband drugs in tennis balls is a thing of the past.

In a related story, the warden at Orleans Parish Prison noted many of the prisoners reacted positively to the tennis ban and continue to stay in shape as a result of a surge in popularity of jai alai.

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Prison line judge has surprisingly few disputed calls

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Image: Zuma Press

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