Mastiff Inhales Rights To Major League Eating

I saw it on TV the other day. A thing so repulsive, so disgusting, so stupid that I could only be left, head in hand, muttering “why…whhhhyyy?”

A Michael Jackson Valentine’s Day special? No. Joan Rivers after another plastic surgery? No. Major League Eating. Yes it does exist and yes, it’s exactly what you think it is. A bunch of contestants on a stage wolfing down as much of a given food item as possible. It’s like hours of concentrated gluttony, over-eating, and everything the health folks tell you not to do. Even if the competitors don’t vomit up their food, they just might make you do it in the comfort of your own home.

And why is it so important that this culinary challenge of champions be brought into the mainstream for television viewers and gamers alike? Mastiff’s head honcho, Bill Swartz, explains the reasoning behind his company bothering to acquire the licence:

“Major League Eaters aren’t just athletes, they are the people who built America.”

If you’ll pardon me, I’ll be on the Canadian side of the border laughing uproariously and feeling immense sympathy for the 99.9% of Americans who find that statement as absurd as I do.

Via | GameSpot