McCain Camp Takes Umbrage At Everything Democrats Say
Claims Only Way Sensitive Women Voters Won’t Be Offended Is if Obama Doesn’t Speak Between Now and Election
The McCain camp sprung to the defense of women (although not to the right of an individual woman to decide about her own body) today when Republican officials took offense at remarks made by Barack Obama at a voter rally. Obama said the GOP claim that McCain was the candidate of change was like “putting lipstick on a pig.”
“Obama is clearly attacking vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin and calling her a pig,” claimed Republican spokesman Richard Head. “That’s totally out of line. Everyone knows she’s a babe.”
Additional footage of the Obama speech showed that he also characterized the McCain position on change by saying “you can wrap old fish in a newspaper, but it still stinks.”
Republicans demanded the Obama camp retract the statement saying it was offensive to old people and that the statement demeaned all women by inferring that Sarah Palin was less than attentive to feminine hygiene.
“In one speech, Senator Obama has managed to alienate our nation’s senior citizens and every member of the female gender,” chortled one Republican strategist.
Obama called the Republican charges “ludicrous.” Republicans responded by saying Obama’s use of big words was insulting to anyone “who scored under 500 on the verbal section of the SAT.”
Senator Obama termed the latest GOP tactics an attempt to “make a mountain out of a molehill.” In answer, the McCain camp issued the following statement, “We think it is insensitive and blatantly sexist for Barack Obama to make snide comments about Sarah Palin’s chest.”
“This is the perfect time to come out with an ad that says Obama wants to teach kids sex education before they learn to read,” said one McCain operative.
In other news, the McCain campaign today announced that a video describing how Obama favors boiling white people and blowing up all national monuments will be available later this week.
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Ad implying that children should be taught sex education before they learn to read oversimplifies the issue. You still have to figure out how to get them in the van…
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