Mexican Government Announces Stimulus Plan
– Offers 30 Million Peso Reward For Information Leading To Arrest of Top 24 Drug Lords –
The Mexican government announced today it will pay “two million dollars each for information leading to the arrest of 24 top drug lords in a public challenge to the cartels’ violent grip on the country.”
The government also announced it will be paying local bands throughout Mexico and the U.S. seven million dollars each to stop playing the Macarena at weddings.
The first question at the government’s press conference was directed to the spokesman and concerned the drug cartel bounty. A man in dark glasses at the back of the room asked the spokesman how much he’d be willing to pay to get his family back.
With the recession in the U.S. spilling over into Mexico, the Mexican government is hoping the cash will encourage informants to reveal information about various drug cartel members and encourage producers of Dog The Bounty Hunter to film more episodes south of the border.
In other news, the head of the Sinaloa drug gang proposed his own stimulus plan whereby anyone keeping their mouth shut would get 10% off their first kilo of Colombian cocaine and would also be allowed to live.
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Heeeeyyyy, make it legal…
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