Milky Way Loses Two ‘Appendages’

New Infrared Technology Shows Star Cluster Has Fewer Stellar Offshoots Than Previously Believed; Milky Way Reports Uptick In Spam Offering ‘Natural Galactic Enhancement’

Scientists using advanced infrared technology today announced that the Milky Way, which had previously been thought to have been comprised of four “arms” of stars, only had two major appendages. The galaxy was said to be crestfallen that its appendages appeared to be shrinking as it got older.

The new view of the Milky Way was constructed using NASA’s Spitzer Space Telescope, which uses infrared light technology. Scientists developed the new galactic mosaic from 800,000 snapshots of more than 110 million stars.

NASA officials said the number of snapshots could have been lower but for a number of stars insisting scientists retake the photos because the stars were “blinking in that last one.”

The two-arm configuration is considered typical for galaxies like the Milky Way. Scientists note that “these major arms have the greatest densities of both young, bright stars and older, so-called red-giant stars.”

Or, as they’re more commonly referred to: Barack Obama and Ted Kennedy.

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Seems like NASA would have better things to study

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