More Miles Per Ganja
– New Ford Car To Be Built In Colombia, Smuggled Into U.S. –
With all the hype, hysteria and angry rhetoric surrounding the global warming debate, it’s about time we all take a deep breath, hold it for a good ten seconds and just mellow out.
Thanks to a research project at Ford Motor Company, we may be in a position to do that sooner than we think since Ford is experimenting with making a car that runs on and has parts made from hemp.
Bold moves, dude.
The “cannabis car,” as it’s already been doobied dubbed, would use “new materials based on fibers from hemp and other plants such as flax and willow, to replace metals and oil-based plastics.”
Your car could still overheat, but chances are you’d be much more laid back about it.
The car would be socially responsible in a number of ways. In addition to being made from sustainable plant material, anyone trying to commit suicide by leaving the car running in a garage would only get seriously buzzed.
I’m not going to say this would solve all your problems, but suicide is a little harder to contemplate when you’re laughing uncontrollably at the socks you’re wearing.
There’s a good chance that the murder rate would decline in most major cities as the contact high during rush hour should calm everyone’s nerves for a good couple of hours.
This is not to say there wouldn’t be some downside to the cannabis concept car. You’d have to at least quadruple the glove compartment size to hold enough Twinkies and Doritos for your morning drive into work.
Driving the Ford Cheeba (just a suggestion on the name) could also lead to an addiction to more hard-core cars like the Chevy Flake and the Black Tar Hummer.
If you think your crack habit is expensive, wait until you see how many laptops you have to steal to support a four-car-a-day habit.
Early plans are for the new Ford to only come in one color – Acapulco Gold.
Other colors will be added when factory workers get motivated enough to do it … in about fourteen years.
The new Ford Cheeba. Designed in America, built in Jamaica.
Cool, man.
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“I don’t want to wait in vain for this light…”
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