My Ashes schedule

We’re now T – 12. Day 0. Ground Zero. Blastoff. I mean, we can almost taste the sweat. Hang on. It’s nearly here. Months, nay, years of anticipation and build up will end tonight. I for one, am quite literally wetting myself.

I am one of many who is not so fortunate to be jetting off to Australia. I am not so fortunate as to have invented cling film or some other money-making invention, and sadly, in order to enjoy hot showers and asparagus on a semi-frequent basis have to work for a living. 9-5 ish, 5 days a week ish. My day starts around 7am and normally finishes after midnight. 7 hours sleep is usually enough to get me up in the morning, and after a couple of gallons of coffee and the odd hour trawling the Internet, I am, by around midday vaguely approaching a state of mind that might be considered vaguely productive. But factor in to the equation the time difference between England and Australia which results in matches starting around midnight GMT, and lasting approximately 8 hours, that would mean, if I wanted to to watch a significant proportion of the cricket, which I do, I would have to either condition my body to be awake for 24 hours straight, or develop a world-wide new working day. And since none are particularly likely, in the short term at least, it calls for a plan.

Fortunately, living and working on a small island, devoid of the usual city headaches such as rush hour, commuting and 3 hour traffic jams means I can be home from work by 1715. A couple of herbal sleep remedies washed down with a couple of cans of strong lager ought to knock me out smartish. All I need to remember is to set my alarm.

The it’s a case of 8 hours of pure cricketing delight. You know the delight – the shock, the pain, the anger, the frustration. If all goes to plan, I’ll be bright as a button for work in the morning.

Whether I can keep this up for 5 days, I don’t know (fortunately two of the days are over the weekend) but I’m sure as heck giving it my best shot. Maybe a cover drive. (Get it?)

What are your plans for watching this event?