News From the Inevitable Future: Les Mich

Following the week three loss to Notre Dame, Michigan fans could take no more. Michigan dropped its third straight home game, and fifth straight overall. The Wolverines went from a pre-season top-five ranking to 0-3; it was the tipping point. Though some fans, bloggers and media-folk had been calling for head coach Lloyd Carr to get the ax at varying degrees for years, the general consensus was now that he must go. It was clear that the populace had turned against him. It was also clear that Coach Carr would not be leaving anytime soon.

And so, a crowd of about 100,000 attempted to storm Schembechler Hall to forcibly remove Lloyd Carr from his position atop Michigan. The crowd was especially raucous for a Michigan group. It has been said that the noise traveled a full block down State Street to Yost Ice Arena. The crowd yelled “Off with his head coaching position!” and burned various jowly effigies. Their attempt to storm Schembechler Hall proved ultimately fruitless. The high walls surrounding the practice field were not scaled. The masses eventually returned to their homes to watch their 1997 highlight tapes and come to terms with the knowledge that — no matter the on-field performance — Michigan was so set in its ways that it was incapable of change.

Coach Carr expressed surprise that he was questioned at all, “Jim Harbaugh must be behind this.”