News From the Inevitable Future: Marlins Trade For 5-Tool Embryo

Miami, 2010 — The 2010 World Series Champs have begun their expected salary purge by unloading World Series MVP Cameron Maybin for the two minor leaguers, a player to be named later, and a 5-tool embryo currently in the 6th week of gestation. The yet unnamed embryo, which is expected to be promoted to fetus level after passing a physical, is one of the top prospects in the Eukaryotic League. He is genetically likely to have plus, plus speed and plus power.

Marlins President Larry Beinfest announced that with this move the Marlins would be an important step to ensure that the Marlins would be competitive for years to come. He dismissed the notion that the Marlins were having another one of their fire sales. “We’re simply building for the future as well. We expect to be competitive during our championship defense.”

There has been some concern about the incoming embryo’s plate discipline, but that is expected to improve as it develops eyes an upper brain function.