Nissan Withdraws From Upcoming Detroit Auto Show

Cool Asian Kids Don’t Want to Be Seen With Bailout Losers

Nothing’s really changed since high school.

All the cool kids with the Abercrombie & Fitch cargo shorts wouldn’t be caught dead with the kids whose parents outfitted them with the broke-ass, house brands from Target.

So, it’s no surprise that Nissan is skipping this year’s Detroit auto show. Sure, they’re saying it’s because they’re cutting back on marketing, but everyone knows that nothing kills your hip image faster than hanging around with the guys looking for government cheese.

A spokesman for the Detroit automakers brushed off the decision, saying, “It’s no big deal, really. Those guys can keep their reliable, gas efficient and well-designed cars. My Chevy Cobalt gets me where I want to go…about 35% of the time.”

Analysts are worried about an increasingly emo bent among Detroit automakers. As a result, security will be tight at next January’s auto show amid reports that CEOs of the Big Three have started dressing more goth and posting threats to blow up the car show on their MySpace pages.

-

Chevy rep snags coveted right field position at annual auto makers’ softball game…

-

Photo credit: EveryStockPhoto.com

-