Nose Candy for Halloween

Is Halloween the holiday that keeps on giving or what?

A mere day after the spook- and sugar-filled festivities, Swiss tennis star Martina Hingis dispensed a shocking Pez of her own: She said, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out” to Tennis with a capital T.

The five-time Grand Slam champ is in a (powdery?) huff after testing positive for cocaine use at Wimbledon. Maybe this is what happened:

Martina: You cannot be serious! . . . *Wears self-satisfied smirk, pleased with herself for channeling John McEnroe’s famous remark* . . . Besides, my coach told me to do lines. 

Wimbledon Suit: Miss Hingis, might I remind of two things. First, your coach would have told you to “hit” the lines on your shots, not “do” lines.

Martina, rolling her eyes: Fine. Whatever. Maybe you’re right.

Wimbledon Suit: But Miss Hingis, there’s second problem. You don’t have a coach, and when you did, it was your mother . . .

Hingis, who is outspoken and known for niceties such as the “she’s half a man” comment in reference to out-of-the-closet French player Amelie Mauresmo, denies the claims and announced her (second) retirement from professional tennis. (For more info, check out Racquets & Balls by Erica Beck—who, we’re happy to note, was also on a sugar high after Halloween).