Omaha Steaks To Sell Meat At Ordinary Price

– Just Kidding, Their Steaks Are Still Expensive As Hell –

I think they should hand out marijuana in business school.

Because you can come up with almost any crazy idea and turn it into a business. I’m pretty sure the guys that came up with the idea for Omaha Steaks were high at the time.

Stoner #1: This is the last of my stash and I got fired today, dude. How are we going to pay for more pot?
Stoner #2: Check this out. I’ve got an idea … we could sell overpriced meat through the mail.
Stoner #1: Come on, dude. Seriously. Even I’m not that freakin’ high…

And yet, Omaha Steaks has been proudly serving beef lovers and people who can’t do long division since 1917.

You know you’re on to something when you can make Ticketmaster look underpriced.

Thanks to the magic of teh Interwebs, you can shop online and buy four, 8 oz. filet mignons at the every day low price of $59.99 plus $16.99 shipping — which works out to just under $38.00 a pound.

For $38 a pound, I expect to open the box and find Gordan Ramsay slaughtering a fresh cow.

And, really, are you fooling anyone with the $59.99 price and $16.99 shipping?

Oh, wait…I forgot my calculator…I wouldn’t pay $60 a pound but $59.99 looks like a real bargain to me. And, just look at those savings on the shipping!

I’ll be spending the weekend working on my business plan for South Dakota Fish. It’s going to feature the finest, organically-raised fish of all different varieties for one flat-rate of $129.99 a pound.

Of course, shipping’s not included. What do you think…I’m made of money?

Well, not yet, anyway….

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“Okay, okay … I’ll switch to an all vegan diet….”

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Image: Zuma Press

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