Paula Abdul Hired To Plan Obama Events

– Noted Choreographer Expected To Add Back-Up Dancers, Pyrotechnics To Already Heavily Staged Press Conferences –

With polls showing the move to national health care running into resistance, the White House has decided to pull out all the stops in its efforts to sell yet another wildly expensive initiative to taxpayers.

Officials have said that, in addition to stage-managed town hall meetings and pre-packaged questions at press conferences, many in the Obama camp feel they need to “kick it up a notch” in terms of selling their plan for socialized medicine.

“With unemployment the highest its been in 26 years, record drops in consumer confidence and all the film clips of Michael Jackson’s performances circulating, we felt we needed to bring in a professional to help choreograph the pitch for national health care,” said one official.

“Paula Abdul brings just the right blend of experience to this task. Not only has Paula created choreography for some of the hottest musical performers of the past 15 years but her experience in negotiating the maze of prescription drug plans is also unrivaled.”

Ms. Abdul said she would like to see more half-naked back-up dancers and an increased reliance on smoke machines in order to further distract the general public from the costs and drawbacks of a federally-managed health care plan.

“We could call the back-up dancers Pussycat Doctors. What do you think, people? Anyone?” asked Ms. Abdul to a largely puzzled media gathering.

In critiquing the President’s health care plan, Abdul said President Obama “needs to learn to make health care his own” but that she loves his outfits and “just wants to squeeze him.”

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Paula Abdul wants to help march country toward socialized medicine…

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Image: Zuma Press

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