Playboy Earnings Sag

Aging Magazine Says Droop Drop is Worse than Expected

Playboy Enterprises announced disappointing results at their annual shareholders meeting today. Investors struggled to maintain upbeat and put on a forced smile while company officials suggested they “could rub investors’ necks or maybe we could watch TV or something…”

Company officials went on to say, “this kind of earnings performance had never happened to them before, well…except for a couple of times when they were really drunk.”

Chief Executive Officer Christie Hefner said, “This will be a transitional year as we are still in…the retooling process.”

Ms. Hefner’s statements are a further indication that it almost impossible for the company to hold a press conference that doesn’t feature at least a few scattered snickers.

-

Bizlevity analyst predicts Playboy outlook will firm in closed door meeting to be held later this evening…

-

Photo

-