Police Now Say Balloon Story A Hoax

– Say Dorothy Never Left Kansas, Scarecrow and Cowardly Lion May Have Been Professional Actors –

In a reversal of previous statements, Kansas police say they now believe the entire story of Dorothy Gale, the young girl who claims she was denied a return ride to her farm by a wizard in a balloon, was a hoax.

“After studying Miss Gale’s body language and that of other farm hands involved, we have concluded the young lady made the entire story up,” said county sheriff Al Jimerden.

“We felt further investigation was warranted when Dorothy mentioned a talking scarecrow, but we could not discount the possibility of someone with advanced knowledge of animatronics playing a trick on her,” said the sheriff.

“But when she started going on about flying monkeys, we were pretty sure we were dealing with a made-up story,” added Jimerden who credited crackerjack police work, questions raised by forty thousand bloggers and Kansas’ hostility toward the theory of evolution for helping uncover the ruse.

According to sources, police first became suspicious when Dorothy’s story switched from black-and-white to color midway through the tale. However, officials did concede Ms. Gale’s story has been remarkably consistent over the past 40 years.

Sheriff Jimerden said police will continue to track down all leads and said they will continue to investigate whether the entire “Oz” hoax was simply a publicity stunt for Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon.

-

There’s no place like a reality show…

-

Image: Zuma Press

-