Porsche, VW To Plan ‘Integrated’ Company

-- Talks Mark First Time In History Anything In Germany Was Voluntarily Integrated –

Porsche SE and Volkswagen AG announced today that they were in talks to “integrate” the two companies. A spokesman for Porsche later clarified the press release saying, “It’s not what you think. Only Germans will be working here and there won’t be any minorities except in low-level factory jobs and maintenance positions.”

“Perhaps, we should have said we are going to ‘combine’ the companies rather than ‘integrate’ them,” said the spokesman after German investors hammered the shares of both companies on the announcement.

The joint venture between the two iconic German brands could face anti-trust hurdles as the combined company would encompass over half the alphabet.

The combination of two car companies, “crazenfrauleinfarfinugenhasselhoffenschlossen” in German, would go a long way to helping Porsche reduce its large outstanding debt burden which is largely the result of all its employees buying Porsches.

Porsche is currently the largest shareholder in Volkswagen with nearly 51 percent of the outstanding shares. Porsche has indicated they would like to raise their stake in VW to as high as 75 percent with the goal of building a car that was both practical and could help you get laid.

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A Trio of Volkswagen Ads

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