Prediction Fun with Anagrams

Some say truth can be found in anagrams. Some say that the people who say that are idiots. Either way, here’s Dejuiced’s ALCS preview. Now, if you happen to be like that guy in the Da Vinci Code, the anagram’s will just light up for you. You will also have awful hair. But for the rest of us, I painstakingly entered the player’s names into the anagram generator at wordsmith.org. It’s a pretty entertaining way to spend a day at work. Will the names of the players and managers provide some insight, or just some dirty jokes? Keep reading and find out. (My money is on insightful dirty jokes.) The full preview after the jump. Did you know that jump is an anagram for J. Ump.

Oakland Athletics:

Jason Kendall = San Dank Jell-O – The Saint of Runny Gelatin Treats? Apparently Jason Kendall’s name is as anagram friendly as Jason Kendall is powerful.

Nick Swisher = Chew Skin, Sir – No dude, gross.

Mark Ellis = Killer Sam – Someone, quickly find out if Ellis knows any talking dogs.

Eric Chavez = Chive Craze! – Delicious.

Marco Scutaro = Succor to a Ram – That sounds illegal.

Jay Payton = A Panty Joy – Jay Payton is now officially my favorite Athletic.

Mark Kotsay = Tom’s Yak Ark – Tom is like a very specific Noah.

Milton Bradley = Tiny Bra Modell - That anagram was going so well. stupid extra “L.”

Frank Thomas = Far Tom Hanks – Or as he’s also known, Otm Shank.

Barry Zito = Rob Ray Zit – Hockey players and their poor hygiene…hilarious.

Dan Haren = Rad Henna – What a lame person says about a lame tattoo.

Esteban Loaiza = Labia Seat Zone – Ummm….what?

Joe Blanton = Blot on Jean – Sounds like what happens when you sit in the Labia Seat Zone.

Huston Street = Hetero Stunts – Just like Katie Holmes.

Ken Macha = Men, A Hack – Well, that pretty much explains everything leading to this.

Detroit Tigers:

Ivan Rodriguez = Our Virgin Daze – The collective term for young Tiger fans reactions to them winning a playoff series.

Sean Casey = Ye Acne Ass – Maybe the Mayor should be under steroid suspicion.

Placido Polanco = A Plaid Cop Colon - I have nothing to say about this. Let’s move on.

Brandon Inge = A Bongin’ Nerd – Explains the facial landing strip.

Carlos Guillen = A Nice Slug Roll – Expect many Guillen homeruns then.

Craig Monroe = Re: A Minor Cog – My Tiger should have a small but necessary role in the Tiger’s performance.

Curtis Granderson = A’s Cringed, Sort Run – Things are not looking good for the A’s

Magglio Ordonez = Zoom, A Gold Reign – Seriously, these appear to be positive Tiger omens.

Marcus Thames = A Hamster Cums – Oh sweet Jeebus, maybe not.

Nate Robertson = Snort Not a Beer – Drink it up, Detroit. Snort something if you must, but no beer. Drink that.

Kenny Rogers = Err…Sonny, Keg! – See above.

Justin Verlander = JV? Earned Runs? Lit? – You’d have to be to believe that Verlander would give ‘em up.

Jeremy Bonderman = Job End Merry? Amen. – Looks like the Tigers are going to win this one, probably in six.