Previously on Friday Night Lights

If this episode were on ESPN, it would feature a guest appearance by Mark May.  On to the quotes.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Mrs. Coach’s sister, Aunt Shelley, showed up to mess with Mrs. Coach’s head help take care of the baby. The quote is their requisite screaming-girl-greeting. It got more and more depressive

You’re so incredibly talented.  There’s a new addition to the ongoing Julie Taylor – Matt Saracen issue now has a new addition: the jersey chaser! Fun times. It’s pretty evident that Matt and Julie are going to end up back together, but there’s going to be more

You need to write a thank-you note to your grandma for those boobs.  Yes, Grandma on Mrs. Coach’s side of the family. Thank you. From all of us.

Let’s see what he can do with his hands. Lyla’s juvie project is enrolling in school, and Buddy Garrity thinks he’d be a fine addition to the football team. He does pretty well in the general athletic drills, but seems pretty incapable of doing anything with the actual football. And because there are absolutely no defensive players on Friday Night Lights, it just doesn’t appear there’s a spot for him. Of course, Tim is going to teach him how to play fullback as part of Tim’s necessary redemption to get back on the team.

It’s really not a toy.  Mrs. Coach caught Billy Riggins playing around with her breast pump before the their meeting about Tim’s eligibility. This was a very Taylor-mammary centered episode.

 I know Riggins shouldn’t have gone to Mexcio and he’s disrespectful to you and the coaching staff. He drinks too much and misses too many practices, but I need him. Smash’s quest to get Riggins back on the team — and give him some holes to run through — might have been the best story line of the episode. If only because it included Smash being surprisingly existenstial AND Tim Riggins being accused of flirting with Mama Williams. Also, there was pie.

Watch his wheels, watch his wheels, here he goes!  Watching your old high school sports triumphs at your birthday party can be depressing enough on its own. When your dad says “watch his wheels” during a clip of you running for a touchdown — when you’re now in a wheel chair –  that’s probably pretty devastating.

This I’ll hold on too, so you can come pick it up. Jason Street, in his attempt to change, tried to purge himself of football by giving his old trophies to Coach. Street may have quit coaching, but I’m going to have to agree with Coach Taylor’s optimism about his return. He’ll be back.

You must be the new athletic director. Funny, you look a lot like the football coach Eric Taylor. Do you know my name. *No I don’t* Do you know what this is? It rhymes with boccerball. It’s a soccer ball, ok? Actually, it isn’t one. This here’s a rubber carcass. A soccer ball is something with air in it… The entirety of girl’s soccer coach Bobbi Roberts rant was a thing of uninterrupted beauty. Coach Taylor is not going to enjoy being Athletic Director Taylor, even if he is within “spitting distance” of last year’s salary.

God forgive us. You know what, the show actually did a pretty damn good job of wrapping up the Landry story line. Landry’s dad — Aaron Pierce from 24 — torched Landry’s car because the body turned up with some of Landry’s wagon’s upholstery.  It turned into a pretty touching, though slightly exaggerated, act of familial responsibility. I’m sorry I doubted. I’m just glad it’s over.