Red Sox Talent Scout Shows a Talent for Fondling Himself

Red Sox talent scout Jesse Levis is apparently a hands-on kind of guy when scoping out prospects.

Unfortunately, the “prospects” were poolside teenage girls, and the “hands-on” part is, um, to be taken very, very literally. Oh yes, it’s what you’re thinking. We do mean that.

Levis was allegedly in his hotel room window—some witnesses say for a whopping 40 minutes—while performing his lewd act. The not-PR-savvy talent scout claims he’d just stepped out of the shower and thus sans clothes. (And what, forgot that he didn’t have any pockets and so found something else to do with his hands?)

What isn’t known is exactly when 39-year-old Levis was assaulted with the Stupidity Club (lesser known cousin of the Ugly Stick) that led him to do this in the first place.