Roller Derby Scares Us

If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a thousand times. It’s great to be a New England sports fan.

Not only did the Red Sox win their Opening Day game in Japan, but roller derby is expanding in the traitor state that roots for the Yankees because it thinks it’s part of New York Connecticut. All we need now is a vibrant curling subculture, though that might be a little too intense for our corner of the U.S.

Now, of the hundreds of posts we’ve done for Gossip On Sports, nary a one has touched on the elegant sport of women’s roller derby. Why? Well, quite frankly, we’re frightened of those chicks.

It’s one thing to throw a right hook in kickboxing class and smugly congratulate yourself for having better technique than all the other gals. (Not that we do that or anything.) But to be punk as all get-out and engage in a catfight on wheels? We’re afraid. We’re very afraid.

Yet while we’re quivering in our open-toed stilettos (yay for Spring!) at these ladies, some people actually suppress their fight-or-flight instinct and watch the sport. And the menfolk are in on it, too. Three new men’s teams have been added to the Connecticut circuit, as the other half of Team Revision (and that’s NOT a roller derby team) pointed out to us recently.

That being said, you know it’s just a matter of time before this thing goes co-ed and turns into some kind of S & M skatefest.

Remember, you read that prediction here first.