Roy Williams beats Roy Williams and both lose? Ask Naruto!
January 1, 2007 by James Edwards
Filed under Sports
NFL Football at its best. NFL Football at its craziest.
The Lions are like Naruto
Only as a Lion’s fan can this happen. The Lions need to lose to the Cowboys to wrap up the first pick in the draft. Now losing is the Lions specialty. Ever since Matt Millen has arrived as the General Manager, they have perfected the art of losing. Before Matt they had drifted just below the .500 mark for decades.
This was the big game. My 5 year old inadvertently explained it all to me.
My son watches a show called Naruto. It is… an anime based on Ninja warriors in training. Two shows in and your juvenile brained author was hooked.
The Influence of Naruto
It has all the standard hooks based on different Ninja styles, showing courage, determination, perseverance, pleasing your master or Sensei, etc.
If we follow the Lions in the same way it makes a lot of sense. Coach Rod Marinelli is their spiritual leader and Offensive Coordinator Mike Martz is their Sensei. Roy Williams is their best Ninja Warrior.
Today Roy of Detroit bested Roy of Dallas. Roy Williams of Dallas is All Pro. Roy Williams of Detroit is not. He says that is Ok, because he did not have enough touchdowns, but we know it eats him up alive, because the cartoon narrator told us so.
A smaller Warrior with great heart and perseverance is Jon Kitna. He keeps on battling, going over 4,000 yards with two 1,000 yard receivers. He wins the respect of that great ninja Brett Favre. Brett likes the way he battles.
Jon credits his Sensei Mike Martz.
The Cowboys have playoff contender ninja style. It is lethal.
The Power of the Williams
All the Lions have is perseverance and Great Spirit from Coach Marinelli. They band together and throw the power of the Williams’ at the Cowboys. Roy Williams scores two touchdowns and the lead is by 9, but the Cowboys use playoff style to come back and take a 1 point lead. It is now time for the little used Mike Williams to come into play.
Mike is not a very good ninja. The talent is there, but he does not work for it. It disappoints his great spiritual leader Coach Marinelli. It irritates his Sensei Mike Martz.
Slowly as the season goes on, Mike Williams begins to gain favor with the coaches. As almost everyone else suffers injuries, Mike is allowed to play. At first only a little, making a catch here and a catch there, then some more as he gains their trust.
Finally that small warrior with the Big Heart, Jon Kitna, goes back and throws a strike to Mike Williams in the end zone. Mike is using great receiver style and catches the ball for the go ahead touchdown.
The final Romo battle
In a final irony, in the final battle, the Tony Romo of the Cowboys, using upstart quarterback darling style, can’t get his team into the end zone after a 1st and 10 on the 10 yard line. He lunges forward on fourth down to no avail as Ernie Sims of the Lions, using hard tackling style, tackles Romo short of the goal line by pressing hard on his pressure points.
It is done. The Lions win 39 to 31. The first pick of the draft will go to the Oakland Hairbraiders using useless style to get blown out by the Jets.
Dallas will become a wild card playoff team.
The Lions had to go for the win as any good ninja would. It was deep in their heart. Jon Kitna had shown perseverance. Roy Williams was the greatest Lions ninja. Their Sensei, Mike Martz, was elated!
NFL Football Fan Question Was it bright for the Lions to win the last game and lose the 1st pick of the draft or is it better to keep fighting and win the game?
As always, any NFL Football related comments are welcome.
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I like the effort to win… These guys have got to learn how to win together, and no sense in waiting until next year. Most will be back, I hope this win will help inspire some belief in the system and each other that they can build on.
My Chakra was really low when this is written, but that has been my argument for a long time. Winning is always better, but why did they have to wait until the last quarter of the last game to suddenly decide to win?
So as usual… the Lions find a way to lose… even in the winning. Very honorable though.
But what about Millen? Who is he in this schema? And why do the Fords keep him around? Blackmail?
There is a lot of bad jokes about why Matt Millen is still around. he talks the talk. Bill Ford Sr. is he underdog of the Fords and he constantly picks underdogs for management positions and then remains loyal to them. Who else could have stood by Wayne Fontes through thick and thin. Some even speculate that Matt Millen just does a lot of what Ford wants him to do and not what he wants to do.
Am I wrong, but didn’t Fontes manage to pull off a trip to the playoffs? When that happens, Millen will have proven his worth.
Which receiver are you guys getting with that No. 2 pick, by the way?
Actually, the Big Buck used to lose most of his games for one year. the NFL used to schedule all the bad teams against each other, so finishing 5th in the Black and Blue division (Tampa bay was in there)would get you a chance to play at least 10 games against crummy teams the next year. So it was playoffs one year, last place the next, and so on. Millen is never going to the playoffs.
Matt Millen has his sites on some big talent, low character guy for sure!
oops, sound kind of bitter there.