Scientists Find New Deadly Virus in Africa
– In News Just As Surprising, Researchers Also Find New Cheesesteak Place In Philly –
Scientists discovered a new deadly virus this week and I know, like me, you’ll be absolutely shocked about where it originated.
What?! Africa?! I haven’t been this surprised since I found out the TARP program is going to cost more than the original estimates.
Is it too much to ask that, just once, a new deadly virus gets discovered in Cincinnati, Ohio?
I looked up Africa in the World Economic Almanac and it turns out their top three exports are diamonds, pirates and diseases where your head explodes.
The new virus is called “Lujo” which is a combination of Lusaka and Johannesburg, the cities where it was first identified and where 423 people were just laid off from the respective Departments of Tourism.
I could win a billion dollar Powerball lottery and a night of sex with Megan Fox and if I had to go to Africa to collect it, it would still be a tough call about whether to make the trip.
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Then again, I’ve always wanted to see Zimbabwe…
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Image: Zuma Press
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