Self-Described ‘Hockey Mom’ Palin Drops Ceremonial First Puck At NHL Game
VP Nominee Later Travels To South Philly To Release Ceremonial First Pit Bull At Dogfight; Sustains Minor Injuries As She Attempts To Apply Lipstick To Snarling Canine
It was a night of mixed messagesin Philadelphia last night as self-styled hockey mom Sarah Palin dropped the ceremonial opening first puck at a Philadelphia Flyers hockey game.
McCain’s running mate took the opportunity to take a swipe at Democratic contender Barack Obama saying, “He can’t even explain why there’s an ‘icing the puck’ rule. And he pals around with figure skaters and ice dancers.”
The VP went on to add, “The only game Barack Hussein Obama knows how to play is one of those illegal dice games they play in the inner city. Or maybe dominoes, which I hear they play a lot of in the Middle East.”
When asked if she thought these kinds of absurd personal attacks were an attempt to distract voters from the real issues of the election, Caribou Barbie defended the strategy noting, “I think Americans want to know what our next President does during his leisure time. We need to know if our next President is playing subversive foreign games like Sudoku or if, like John McCain, he’s playing patriotic American games where you circle the word frontwards, backwards or diagonally.”
Palin also accused the mainstream media of “gotcha journalism” when she was asked to pick out three countries in the Middle East and incorrectly pointed to Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina.
The Republican vice-presidential nominee continued her photo op tour later in the evening as she opened the ceremonial first gate at an illegal dogfight in South Philadelphia. Palin nearly lost an ear when she attempted to pose with four-time champion Diablo and tried to put lipstick on the dog prior to taking the picture.
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Republicans are concerned about influx of foreign games and want stricter quotas on sudoku and Chinese checkers
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Photo credit: EveryStockPhoto.com
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