Senator Ensign Apologizes For Affair

– Says He’s Sorry For Heterosexual Fling, Insists In Future He’ll Try To Get Caught With Gay Staffer –

In an emotional private scene with fellow GOP lawmakers, Senator John Ensign made a heartfelt apology to his fellow party members for not only having an affair, but for making it a heterosexual one.

“I’m aware that the high standards of hypocrisy set by Larry Craig and Mark Foley have been compromised and for that I’m truly sorry,” said Ensign.

According to Politico.com, Senator Ensign was greeted with a round of applause from fellow Republican senators who were said to have been appreciative of Ensign’s attempt to uphold a long-standing tradition in the Senate of wrecking a promising career with a somewhat-less-than-attractive campaign staffer.

Ensign is considered an early favorite for this year’s John Edwards Award.

In a related story, Ensign resigned from the Republican Policy Committee last week but said he would not give up his role as Elaine’s boss, Mr. Peterman, in old Seinfeld re-runs.

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J. Peterman or J. Ensign? You make the call…

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Images: Zuma Press

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