Sharper Image Files For Bankruptcy

New Image Seen as Somewhat Less Sharp

Sharper Image — the catalog and retail store which featured useless, pretentious and over-priced products — filed for bankruptcy today.

The store was known for trendy items like the solar-powered butter knife and the Shiatsu recliner that cost nearly as much as a flight to Tokyo.

Company CFO Amanda B. Reckonwith said “the company has suffered from increased competition, narrowing margins, litigation, lower consumer and market confidence, tighter credit from suppliers, and poorly performing stores … compounded by the ever-tightening and volatile credit and financing markets.”

After an uncomfortable silence from the gathered media she added, “Maybe it would be faster if we told you what we did right…”

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…or you could save $40 and use Tupperware
(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy: If one of the selling points of your product is that it’s 8″ tall … you might be a marketing weasel)

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Further details on the bankruptcy filing were unavailable at press time.

Calls made to the company on a $249 Lucite Star Wars phone were not returned.

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