SmackDown 6/13 Results

SmackDown Results

Opening Segment
Vicki Guerrero gets booed a lot. When Batista signs a contract to fight Edge at Night of Champions (if he beats the Great Kali) she adds a clause saying if he doesn’t beat the Indian then he will be banished from the WWE.
Comment: Yawn. I like the major heel hate Vickie receives but the “win or your banished” route is getting pretty tired.

Morrison def. Finlay
Comment: I really enjoy Finlay’s brawling but I last week thought his and Hornswaggle’s feud with Miz and Morrison was a little silly. Finlay brings the best out of everyone and Mick Foley’s insults of The Miz are terrific. This match was surprisingly entertaining and the best bout in a horrifically bad night of SmackDown. If Vince McMahon is wondering why ratings are falling he only needs to re-watch this night’s putrid display.

Mark Henry def. Tommy Dreamer
Comment: Mark Henry is the last person I want to see sweaty, glistening, and wearing a skin tight outfit. He’s such a ridiculously boring wrestler and an unconvincing bad guy.

Cherry def. Maryse
Comment: Why can’t this feud just end?

MVP def. CM Punk
Comment: I know CM Punk is straight edge but he always looks so old, weathered, and in need of sleep. Which is why I catch a few zzzzs during this match. I wake up to yet another headlock and fall back asleep. Wake up. Arm bar. More sleep. Wake up. Commercial. I’m happy because I assume the match is over. It isn’t. The match mercifully ends when the ref catches Punk holding the Money in the Bank briefcase and wrongly assumes Punk used it to knock out MVP. Horrible horrible match.

Matt Hardy def. Chuck Palumbo
Comment: Chavo Guerrero announces he’s fighting Hardy for the U.S. Championship and that Chuck Palumbo is customizing a motorcycle for him. Hardy easily defeats the under- utilized Palumbo.

Jesse and Festus def. Deuce and Domino
Comment: Deuce hits Jesse with a poorly placed boot and open up a nasty cut on the little guy’s forehead showing just how violent these moves can be if they’re missed by the smallest of margins. I don’t understand why Jesse doesn’t let Festus open the matches since the same Jesse-is-beat-up-horribly-until-he-can-tag-Festus plot occurs in every one of the fights. He gets the tag and Festus predictably goes wild and quickly pins Domino. Deuce and Domino brawl after the match and it seems like these two might be breaking up. Not like I care either way.

Batista def. Great Khali
Comment: It’s hard to expect much when only one of the two participants can actually move. Edge and a wheelchaired Vickie Guerrero watch the bout from the entrance area. We feel bad that they have to witness Khali’s trademark boring mix of leg drops, elbow slams, and head butts. Khali hits an impressive Khali Bomb and Batista promptly sues the Punjabi giant for copyright infringement. Actually, the Animal spears the huge Indian and pins him thus saving his career and ending a miserably bad SmackDown.