Suze Orman, Jim Cramer To Compete In UFC Finals

Tickets Going for Three Times Face Value as Fans See Either One Getting Punched In the Face As No-Lose Proposition

In what is being described as a coup for Spike-TV, Suze Orman will meet Jim Cramer in a no-holds-barred Ultimate Fighting Championship match. Cramer is expected to have a volume and craziness advantage while Orman will bank on sarcasm and her own peculiar ability to belittle people and offer advice at the same time.

If the contest comes down to a question of physical strength, most analysts favor Orman.

The pair comes to the finals by different routes. Orman has built her reputation in personal finance and the ability to help walk people through simple math (”You make $3,000 a year bagging groceries, you can’t afford a $50,000 Lexus.”)

Cramer favors stock picking and a blustery style that reminds you of the heavy-drinking biker your sister married. (”You need to wake up, Ben Bernanke! And make me some breakfast before I introduce you to the back of my hand, bitch!”)

It’s a battle for bragging rights as bat-shit crazy meets smartly-dressed melanoma.

You won’t want to miss it.

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Please, Hammer, don’t hurt ‘em….
(Crazy goodness gets into full swing around the 2:00 minute mark)

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