That Ain’t Chicken Feed

Nation’s Largest Chicken Producer Lays Egg, Declares Bankruptcy

Pilgrim’s Pride, the nation’s largest chicken producer, filed for Chapter 11 protection yesterday, waiting until after Thanksgiving so as not to tarnish the pride of Pilgrims everywhere.

The company sought bankruptcy protection saying that “as of Sept. 27 it had $3.75 billion in assets and $2.72 billion in debts.”

What kind of chickensh*t nonsense is that? You’ve got $1 billion more in assets than liabilities but you don’t feel like paying your creditors so you just say, “Aw, the hell with it”?

Michael Vick has $300 in assets and roughly $200 million in legal fees and you don’t see him wimping out and declaring Chapter 11.

Although, admittedly, using Michael Vick as an example of what to do financially hasn’t proven to be such a good idea up to this point.

Pilgrim’s Pride will be applying to Congress to get bailed out next week and is expected to argue the company is “too big to fail” and that a collapse could mean the obesity epidemic will get worse because of all the people forced to eat beef.

Analysts said the company had been saddled with debt due to its $1.3 billion acquisition of rival Gold Kist Inc. in 2007 and its insistence on providing custom-made shoes with big buckles for all its employees.

When reached for comment, a spokes-hen for the nations chickens said, “Bukk-bukk-bukk BAAAAWWK!”

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“‘Bukk-bukk-bukk BAAAAWWK!’ I say, I say … that’s a joke, son…”

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Photo credit: Sheetmusicplus.com

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